"Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault,
ye which are spiritual,
restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself,
lest thou also be tempted."
~Galatians 6:1~
Do you ever become consumed with the faults of others? Maybe it is your dear husband, or maybe it is one of your children, a friend? Or a difference you had with one of your parents? Of course, these things are never supposed to happen, but if we are real we know that these unfortunate incidents do at least happen occasionally.
A Lighthouse Under Construction: Restoration in Progress
Each of us is a 'work in progress'
Don't be overtaken by the faults of the other!!
What should we do?
1. As long as we are living on this earth, we are filled more with our flesh than we'd like and we must battle with the spiritual warfare that is talked about in the sixth chapter of Ephesians. We must prepare and put our armor on so that we are not overtaken with the faults of others.
2. Being overtaken by the faults of another person, could mean that our thoughts are consumed and just completely filled with what the other person did wrong. Or what we 'thought' they did wrong. Our perception could possibly be off!! Have you ever played the scene over and over and over in your mind? You might have solved the incidence another way, wishing you had said differently than you did. Or, you might be thinking thoughts of what you would have said to retaliate the wrong that was done to you.
3. When I was a teenager, my dad often told me that things would look better in the morning. I was usually worried about a test or homework assignment that was due. Whatever the case, the good advice my father gave still applies. The situation always looks better in the morning after a restful night's sleep. Our perspective in the morning is often fresh and the situation might not seem so extreme as it did when we were tired.
4. I recently had a situation which left me concerned and thoughtful, even sad at the outcome. I had not retaliated in my response initially but have you ever noticed that you can retaliate within your heart and mind? Whatever you think will eventually come out in your actions and words if not dealt with in a biblical manner. It is so important to surrender the situation to the Lord so that you can sleep on it and wake with a clear conscience.
5. If I did not deal with my situation, I could easily (and I mean easily) become bitter over time (maybe even within minutes.) Bitterness is sneaky and rationalizes why it isn't my fault and blames the other person. If you are thinking nothing is your fault, then you wouldn't notice the bitterness that creeps into your heart?!
6. If you do not allow God to have full reign in your heart over the faults you see in another person, especially when it directly affects you, you will most likely be critical in your heart (if not in your words). The danger of this is stated in this verse. My paraphrase is that "you need to restore the other person in the spirit of meekness, consider yourself, because if you don't, you will be tempted." I really think you will be tempted to do the same thing that is characteristic about the other person.
7. Have you ever noticed when someone cannot stand something in another person how they end up doing that same exact thing? I think that is part of what happens when we judge another. Also, what irritates us most about someone close to us is often what is 'in' us.
8. Ever noticed that the child who is most irritating to you is the child who is most like you?? Ever heard of generational sin? I used to think it only meant those terrible unmentionable sins like alcoholism but I came to realize that it can be those tiny irrational idiosyncrasies in our child that is exactly a splitting image of me!!
9. This verse admonishes us to have the spirit of meekness toward the person who has the fault. As I considered my situation, I thought how I should consider my own faults, and ask God to search my heart and cleanse me with His blood of the faults I have. It is better to focus on mySELF and allow God in His strength to change me.
10. Meekness is not natural. We are self-righteous and would rather gather with some friends and share about what the 'other' person did that was soo wrong!! I might read how I should be meek and try to 'put on' meekness but if I don't tap into the strength of the Holy Spirit that will only last so long.
The Easy Road:
- The Easy Road is to look at the other person's glaring faults and to be blinded to your own!!
- The Easy Road is to focus on points where you have not failed and hold yourSELF up as better than the other person!!
- The Easy Road is to talk about your situation to a girl-friend and tell all the faults that your 'close one' has, neglecting to fill in what 'you' did to cause such a response!!
- The Easy Road is SELF-righteousness, pride, deceitfulness, and blindness to your own faults!!
The Road to Blessing:
- The Road to Blessing is the Easier Road once you have stepped in the RIGHT direction!!
- The Road to Blessing is looking for the good in the other person!!
- The Road to Blessing is lifting up the offending person around others!!
- The Road to Blessing is quietly listening (truly listening) when the other person hurtles accusations toward you (there is always some truth in what is said)!!
- The Road to Blessing prays about the situation rather than *talks* or *stews* about it: giving the hurt and pain to the Lord before: bitterness, anger, wrath, or clamoring steps in the door!!
- The Road to Blessing does not think ugly unkind thoughts toward the other in the quietness of her heart (where no one {no one??} sees)
- The Road to Blessing replaces these thoughts with thanksgiving and singing rather than replaying the events over and over in her mind until her emotions spiral into utter rejection or depression!!
- The Road to Blessing allows the other person space so the Holy Spirit can encourage rather than becoming a nagging surrogate holy spirit (terror?) to 'point out' those 'obvious' faults!!
- The Road to Blessing instead asks the Lord to indwell her and take captive her thoughts and search her OWN heart for hidden faults and sin.
If we ladies do NOT search our OWN hearts instead of the person who 'offended' us, we run the risk of being overtaken by the same fault as we are annoyed with and our fault(s) will become more glaring than what we thought was present in the other person's life!!
It is a blessing when we quietly wait on the Lord, caring for those in our responsibility 'as unto the Lord.'
Some other verses from Ephesians 6 that encouraged me:
"Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2)
("YE" is the plural form of "YOU"...we don't have a plural form of "YOU" in our English language today, so we cannot easily indicate that we are talking to everyone by using the word "you.")
"For if a man think himSELF to be someTHING when he is NOthing, he deceiveth himSELF." (Galatians 6:30)
"Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." (Galatians 6:7)
"For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting." (Galatians 6:8)
"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." (Galatians 6:9)
"As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith." (Galatians 6:10)
"But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world.: (Galatians 6:14)
I often wake up with concerns on my heart. Even when my children were very little I preferred to have my Quiet Time early, if at all possible. Sometimes that 'wasn't at all possible' so I had to be creative!! When I did open my Bible, God's Words always quieted my heart and spoke directly to THAT day's needs like I have shown through this post.
This post was a rather random gathering of my thought process through this delemma which is so common since we walk in the flesh, daily asking God to help us walk in the Spirit.
How does God calm your heart when you are overtaken with the faults of your husband, children, or friend?
Since I live out 'in-the-sticks'... friends, like you are a long ways away!!
Sooo, I'd love you to follow me on:
~Judith~
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