Smothering Mothering of Boys & WholeHearted-Home Wednesdays Linkup

I am without a doubt a mother, a woman, a lady who started out as a girl. I look at life through rose-colored glasses. Feminine ones. I like long hair and pony-tails, flowers and frills, I like climbing trees or standing on my head too but nothing ever changed the fact that I am a girl. When I played matchbox cars with my brother as a girl, I always frustrated him because I would arrange the setup, the town, and not really push the cars around making those silly car noises. I was a girl.

Then I grew up, got married, and had a boy!! I remember not really thinking about it intensely. I erroneously thought that boys should be taught to keep their rooms neat (true) and put their clothes in the laundry (true) and how to cook a few basic things like cookies (true) but I never really realized that there was any particular differences between girls and boys. I was a product of the times, of public schools and the blending of the sexes. I hadn't yet learned to understand God's plan for men and why it is so impossible to completely teach them how to be girls. Yes, I said that. 

Yes, I expected my boys to make their beds, do dishes, vacuum, wash floors, bathrooms, but I gave up quickly on making them fold clothes or do too much cooking. I found that although they could be taught (and should be) to keep their room relatively clean and to help around the house, there is a different purpose than I originally thought. 

So, by the time my son turned around 17, I realized that I needed to STOP expecting him to make his bed, put his clothes away, and so forth because he was balking because he was a man. He was just who God intended him to be and I needed to teach my daughters to serve him. In return he learned to protect the girls to an extent far beyond what I would have ever thought possible. He has become a wonderful brother and son.

I know to most of you momma's, I would sound ridiculous, but for those who can relate, maybe what I am sharing will encourage you and loosen you up some. I learned so much from my oldest son which most mom's don't have the opportunity to learn. The unfortunate thing is that, like most things for me, I learned them a little too late, I am always behind.

When my boys would get too rambunctious I would try to calm them down. I didn't like fighting but I lived to learn that was normal. Boys just do that to establish their rank. With my three youngest boys that certainly happened. Some for the good and some not so good. 

I learned a LOT from a friend who was more used to boys than I was. She had three boys. Her boys were gentlemen and loved the Lord but were also young boys. They have since grown into godly young men. I remember how their living room door was right near the driveway. I almost died one day when one of the boys had a bike inside the house. It was MY boy!! She was much more relaxed than me. I learned to do better.

My youngest son, LOVES soccer. He is seventeen. When he has had enough of math, he comes out into the living room or kitchen and starts playing soccer with a six-inch soccer ball with his sister. I walk through the room, kick the ball or duck out of the way...hoping a window doesn't break. I am much more relaxed than I used to be. 

A few years ago when my son was about 14, he was trying to douse his older brother (12 years older) with a bucket of water. My oldest son had him locked between his arm and there was NO way he was going to get the better of him!! His little brother had gone too far in his shenanagins!! This is just how boys handle it and mothers like me just need to stay calm. They will survive (I think.)

I like my boys to eat with manners, you know, with their fork and knife not fingers, no burping, keeping the chair on the floor. Yes, they should eat with manners but within reason. I went too far. I was too picky. I tried too hard. What I didn't always realize is that manners have nothing to do with eternity and there are issues of far greater importance than how they eat and how they behave. Now, mind you, I taught them often about eternal things but more is caught than taught. We can teach more after we 'taught' while we think we are handling a pertinent issue at hand.

I am thankful that my oldest son (in his twenties not as a belligerent teen) pointed out some of the things I was mistaken about boys while I still had boys at home. I still don't have it all figured out but some things are a little clearer than mud now.

What things have you learned about raising boys??

Stay tuned as I explore Smothering Mothering of Boys.

In Christ Alone,

~Judith~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Gisela over at My Redeemer Lives tells a engaging story of her interactions with her son after a recent surgery. You've just got to read this!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now, for today's Linkup Party #5

WholeHearted Home Wednesdays!!!

Thank you to all who linked up with WholeHearted-Home-Wednesdays last week!!!! I was soo blessed reading all the posts that each of you ladies left.

Share your post with others out in our bloggie-niche on:

Mothering

Marriage

Homemaking

Homeschooling

From Your Kitchen

Organizing your Home

Gardening

Mom's Sharing Jesus

and any way you have

WholeHeartedly served Christ in your Home

1. Post as many posts as you'd like
2. Keep each post honoring to God
3. I'd love you to link back to Haven of Rest but it is not required
4. You may use a 'word' link or my button along the side for Haven of Rest
5. Happy posting!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart as each of your posts are always such an encouragement to me and others.

Grab My Button!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I would love you to be-friend me on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, or just simply follow me (for lack of a better word) in the side-bar. 

InLinkz.com