Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Building Conversational Intimacy

Whether you have a good relationship with your husband or not there is always room to grow. It is typical to fall into a routine after your honeymoon and not have the time or inclination for some of the attitudes and activities that were enjoyed before marriage. 

If your relationship was not built on friendship before marriage it can be harder to reach the level of intimacy in conversation, especially once you have children. But it isn't impossible.

I have watched some couples court without touching or kissing until marriage. This has been my desire for my children since they were little but a choice they will have to make as individuals. This may seem radical and like a totally new idea to many of you reading this post. So, let that thought digest a moment!! 

When a marriage is built on the physical, the girl in particular will struggle with guilt either subconsciously or consciously. The marriage doesn't start off on a solid foundation. The marriage is more prone to bickering and various difficulties because they did not take the time to build a solid foundation. With dating being promoted for many, many years, none of us knew any better. God is a God who loves to give mercy and who loves to rebuild relationships where they are failing. 

So there has to be ways to strengthen our marriages, no matter how we started off, with purity, with not-as-much-purity, or with none at all. God is a God of mercy who gives us grace to overcome any of our sin or shortcomings. What are some steps to giving our marriages a boost??

Learning to do the following:

  • Honor my husband in my heart and in my actions 
  • Speak honoring of my husbands to my children, friends, relatives, acquaintances, & strangers.
  • Treat my husband with respect always
  • Be thankful to God for my husband (and thankful in my secret thoughts)
  • Earnestly pray for my husband each day
  • Follow my husband's leadership as Sarah did
  • Submission and Obedience to my husband
These aren't virtues that are talked about much today. In fact, honor and respect, obedience, submission, and a husband leading; goes against what our society outlines for woman in marriage. Even many Christians bristle at the thought of submission or obedience. 

As I learned how to act better towards my husband, God blessed my marriage. My husband responded gradually, after all, it took me years to get into this mess and since we don't live a story-book marriage, it has taken us years to get out of this mess!! We still fall waay short. We are living a miracle in a world where most people put no value in their marriage.

Your assignment this week, is to look back at the bulleted list and try allowing God to work in just TWO areas. Just two. 

In Christ Alone,


  1. I love this post! I have a great relationship with my husband. I realize more and more how rare a gift that is when I listen to my friends :( I don't feel like I pray enough for him though and I can always learn to do some other things on you list better than I am now (always room for growth). So, Thanks for this great reminder post!

  2. Good ideas, I do a pretty good job being respectful to my hubby, but there is still room for improvement! How we are to our husbands is such a strong testimonial to God's love and grace. Thanks for linking up today:)


If you have gone a little way ahead, O friend, call back --
Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track.


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