Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Forgiveness? But I am SO Offended! & WholeHearted Home Wednesdays LINKUP

In thinking about forgiveness, I want to consider that there is the offender and the offended. 

We can do either. 

If we have been the one to offend, then, clearly we need to repent and ask the one we have offended if they will forgive us. 

But what if we have been offended? How on earth are we to deal with the hurt? Or maybe you are the type that moves on and thinks you are letting the issue slide off your shoulder; do you think there is a possibility that you are hiding how you feel under the carpet? 

My brother injured his back when he played soccer when he was young. As an adult he had major back issues and would end up in traction and in a lot of pain. Once a doctor found a piece of bone loose in his back, he had surgery and had it removed. 

How we respond to offenses can be like my brother's back injury. He didn't know he had a bone chip causing his discomfort. Over the years other things had caused strain to his back but he was ignoring the root of the issue. Bitterness can slip into our life unawares in the same way that the bone caused problems unawares to my brother.

Asking Forgiveness:
  1. Asking forgiveness is one-sided. Never ask the person to share the blame.
  2. Get to the point when asking forgiveness: "I was wrong in ______. I am sorry, please forgive me."

I'd LOVE you to leave a comment!!

Since I live out 'in-the-sticks'... friends, like you are a long ways away!!
Sooo, I'd love you to follow me on: 

Don't forget to linkup your favorite posts:


WholeHearted Faves

The posts each week are WONDERFUL!!
I hope that you visit and leave a comment on the post before you??

Mindy over at In the Write Moment 
shared a hilarious post that draws a Spiritual conclusion.
I love Mindy's blog...I think it was about the second blog I read when I was introduced to blogging

Many ladies have shared the One Word they have chosen for 2013
and I have been blessed by each post that I read. 
Here is one of the many:

Mary at Woman to Woman shared:

Here is a post I found just by following a link when I shared
one of my posts on someone else's Linkup Party (forgot whose)
It is so important to encourage other ladies where ever we go.
You never know what difficulties they face that cannot be shared
out on the bloggisphere. So, leaving a comment often blesses
more than you can ever imagine!!

WholeHearted Home Wednesdays

Linkup #24

Time has flown by and it's time to share again!!

I love reading the posts you link, so hurry, hurry, hurry and linkup.

Keep your posts family-friendly on topics such as:

Marriage is for Keeps
From Your Kitchen
Organizing your Home
Mom's Sharing Jesus
And any way you have
WholeHeartedly served Christ in your Home!!
  1. Keep each post honoring to God.
  2. Link up to FOUR posts.
  3. Remember the purpose is for community; and women love conversation!! So, please visit at least one blogger who posted  before you on my Linky Party :-)
  4. Be sure to link back to WholeHearted Home.
  5. This Linky Party is open until Saturdays at 11:59pm
  6. Thank you from the bottom of my heart as each of your posts are always such a blessing to me and other ladies. Happy linking! 
Thanks for dropping by!!!
Comments make my day!!


  1. Judith, thank you for these posts on forgiveness. I like the point you made of 'getting to the point'... No dancing around the issue, trying to dress it up. Own it!
    Thanks so much for including me in today's post! I really appreciate it.
    Blessings to you ~ Mary

    1. You're welcome, Mary. Your blog is such a blessing and I hope that others visit it also.

  2. Great analogy about the bone chip. There are times I've thought I've forgiven someone only to have the "injury" pop up again. We really can't learn enough about forgiveness. Thanks for doing this series.

    1. Forgiveness is so important...without forgiving others we ruin our lives or see the evidence of others who have destroyed theirs. Thanks so much Gail.

  3. This is a great post, thank you! I can honestly say that, at this time, I don't think I'm harboring any unforgiveness. Sure hope it stays that way!

    Mrs. Sarah Coller

  4. Judith ~ Thanks for hosting another link-up. Thanks also for your post. When our children were young we taught them that when they did something wrong, it wasn't enough just to say "I'm sorry" - they needed to ask the other person for forgiveness. This is a rule in our home for all of us. It goes a long way in mending, healing, and keeping good relationships. God bless!

    1. Yes, to do all those things goes such a long way in keeping the lines of communication open. Home is the hardest place and best place to start.

  5. I agree! I always tell my children, "Just say I am sorry, don't add another excuse with it." Thank you for sharing and hosting!

  6. Thank you for the opportunity to connect with others, and learn!

    There's a very insightful book - The Five Languages of Apology - by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas that explores the concept of apologizing. They suggest there are 5 ways to express an apology and perhaps the way we use might not be what the other person needs.

    Their premise of the 5 are: Expressing Regret. “I am sorry” - Accepting Responsibility. “I was wrong.” - Making Restitution. “What can I do to make it right?” - Genuinely Repenting. “I’ll try not to do that again.” - Requesting Forgiveness. “Will you please forgive me?”

    I really enjoyed the book, and it gave me deeper insight into my family and others.

    1. Hmmm...I should get the book!! I really like what I have read from Gary Chapman. Thanks so much for sharing.

  7. Great post Judith. Thanks for sharing this truth and wisdom. I linked today too.
    I've already visited a couple of posts looking forward to more truth, wisdom and inspiration. Thank you for allowing us to join your party here!
    Have a wonderful Wednesday,

    1. Thank you Sherry!! I hope the Lord uses it because I didn't think it came together.

  8. Thank you SO much for featuring my blog post, I was thrilled that you thought of me. Thank you for your kind words of encouragement.

    I think the hardest forgiveness to offer is when someone has seriously sinned against you and they won't ask for forgiveness. It's easy to forgive the repentant heart. It's hard to forgive the self-rightous heart. I used to feel that it shouldn't have happened because it dishonors the Lord when believers are wrong and won't admit it. However, the Lord reminded me He was falsely accused and He wasn't supported by His brothers in His hour of greatest need. Why does it happen? If we don't suffer with Him, we won't be glorified with Him.

    Thank you for your gracious words of encouragement today.

    1. Mindy, you are an encouragement yourself :-) You are so right, it is so hard to ask forgiveness when someone has done wrong (to me) even though I can usually see things I did wrong too. Like my mom always said, "It takes two!!"

  9. Judith, your post reminds me of a quote by Corrie Ten Boom: "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you." Thanks for tackling this tough subject.

    1. I like the quote from Corrie Ten Boom. I see in my children (so easy to see in others) when one wrongs their sibling, that the 'wronged child' can too easily be worse off than the one in the wrong. Bitterness is a sneaky thing!!

  10. Your post was a great reminder to not let things fester. Loved the bone chip illustration! That will stick with me! Blessings and thanks for your link-up party!

    1. Thanks so much!! Yes, a festering wound is so much like unforgiveness!!

  11. As a child my mom always taught us not to say, "Sorry for _____, BUT..."
    Adding the "BUT" whatever in there totally ruined your apology because you were still trying to blame something else rather than taking the blame. It was a good lesson for me as a child and is still in my head and a good thing for me today.
    When I apologize, I need to mean it!

    Forgiveness, that's hard sometimes but left unchecked it definitely festers and grows into a mess. Thank you for encouraging it and explaining the need.

  12. It is easy to tell our children to say sorry, but when I have to say sorry...well, it is hard and the 'but' is too easy to add because taking the entire blame is easier said than done. With God's help, asking forgiveness the right way is so possible.

  13. Praise God that He forgave us even when we offended Him through our sins, thanks to the shed blood of His Son as a propitiation for our sins. Thanks for the great post & features & for hosting, & God bless!

  14. Thank you for visiting and your kind comment on Heart for home-making. I'm glad I've found your blog too - I'm very much enjoying it. Thank you


If you have gone a little way ahead, O friend, call back --
Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track.


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