Thinking the best of my husband whether times are better or worse nurtures and invests in my marriage. Even when I think 'he' needs to improve in some area, if I take a close hard look, it really is 'me' that needs to do the changing.
My husband works between 40 and 50 hours most weeks. Last week he put in 60 hours. He has been faithful to provide our family's needs through the years. Do I show my appreciation through the words I choose and my actions towards him?
My husband is handy and can repair just about anything. There isn't much he can't do and if he doesn't know how, he learns!!
Do I thank him enough? Am I developing thought habits that are honoring and which show appreciation towards my husband. I don't know about your husband but mine likes to be appreciated!!
I didn't write a list on paper again, but unfortunately, I did continue to write my list. I wrote it on my heart. Sadly, this is where many wives keep their lists. It is good never ever to say anything negative about your husband. I would suggest that we commit to taking this much further. Never ever write on your heart negative thoughts about your husband.
The Depreciation Room is the place where we write down all the things that bother and irritate us about our husbands. It is what tears a marriage down even though you would never dream of leaving your husband. It is where you keep your husband's bad habits, thoughtless words, poor decisions, and neglect of time with you. The Depreciation Room is where you go when all goes wrong. You write your graffiti-like list on the walls.
There is another room that I'd much rather live.
"In the deep and private corridors of your heart, there is a room. It's called the Appreciation Room. It's where your thoughts go when you encounter positive and encouraging things about your spouse. And every so often, you enjoy visiting this special place."
On the walls are written kind words and phrases describing the good attributes of your mate. These may include characteristics like "honest" and "intelligent," or phrases like "diligent worker,"....They are things you've discovered about your husband....that have embedded themselves in your memory. When you think about these things, your appreciation for your spouse begins to increase. In fact, the more time you spend meditating on these positive attributes, the more grateful you are for your mate." (The Love Dare, p. 31)
Love bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things. Because of that, I can move right out of the Depreciation Room and live in the Appreciation Room. In there I will write on the walls the many wonderful character qualities of my husband. I will study my husband and learn all the great things there are about this man.
It is a habit to reign in my thoughts. If I want to be a woman who builds my marriage, I must not look into the Depreciation Room again other than for a glance to know how to pray for him. I need to stop MAGNIFYING his negative qualities while minimizing mine.
I need to write on the Depreciation Room, "COVERED IN LOVE" and believe Jesus wrote on all that is negative, "COVERED in MY BLOOD."
Will you enter your Appreciation Room?? What will you write on its wall??
In Christ Alone,