Thursday, January 10, 2013

10 Days of Encouraging Your Husband

I know Christmas is over, but don't you really think that you should think and do especially nice things for your husband every day and not just once or twice a year?? Sometimes when you have been married longer than six months or so, life can get rather sticky and I have found that it takes 100% work on MY part to keep the fires burning.

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We have been married for 33 years and by no means do we have the exemplary marriage that is talked about in all those wonderful marriage books. More times than you'd want to know, I get discouraged thinking there is no way that I have any right to write (so punny!!) on marriage!! 

Every time I write about The Love Dare my marriage is challenged in exactly THAT area (by the evil one NOT my sweet husband) and I am challenged to live on a higher plane the way God intended my marriage to be. 

I just read a wonderful post over at 'Auntie Em's Guide to Life' called '12 Days (of Encouragement) of Christmas' that challenged me to keep that thought going for 10 Days of Encouraging Your Husband...or how about the Whole year?! This could be done anytime and started over again and again.

So, let's get going!!

TEN Ways to Encourage Your Husband in 2013
If you take these ideas and the similar ones (sorry Auntie Em inspired me to this challenge) and do them for the next 10 days, you just might find yourself loving your husband more and more. I know I have been growing in my love for my husband in the last several years as I have tried some of these ideas.

  1. Pray for your husband each morning as he leaves for work. Then three times through the day (minimum) if you can. My husband commutes an hour to work...not through city driving (praise God) but driving is driving. He isn't getting any younger, so he could fall asleep at the wheel...so he needs those wonderful guardian angels. He works with his hands and mind. He is very intelligent and needs to keep his mind on his work for the safety of all who benefit from is technical handiwork. My prayers as I fold his laundry will bless him. He is our Spiritual leader and he needs my prayers for that area of his life. I need to improve my faithfulness in praying for my husband. There is a sheet I keep in my Bible from Naomi over at What Joy is Mine that helps me keep in mind what I should pray for my dear husband. Hop over to her site and print it off...but don't forget to finish reading my post :-)
  2. Listen when your husband talks (and stop doing so much talking yourself!!) My husband talks a lot about current events, inclimate weather conditions (hurricanes, tsunamis, tornadoes, blizzards, and whatever), unusual car accidents, his job, and interesting things he reads about in science and God's creation. These are the things that make my husband tick, and I need to stop what I am doing and listen to him. Our husbands love it when we show them honor!!
  3. Make your bedroom a get-a-way: Does your bedroom invite clutter as well as children and your husband?? Anything that doesn't have a place has always ended up in my bedroom!! The stairs to our attic fold down in our walk-in closet, so into my bedroom it goes. I want to make sure my husband doesn't feel misplaced in our bedroom, so I try to keep up with  misplaced clutter. I like having a quilt on my bed. When we were first married we had a single sized quilt placed against the wall that reached the floor on the side you got in on. You see, you don't have to spend a lot of money to make your special room inviting. Sheer or inexpensive lace curtains set the mood. 
  4. Buy your husband chocolates: You don't have to break-the-bank as you could buy a small box and place it on his pillow. Maybe he will even share it with you?! Once I wrote out little notes and refilled a box of chocolates I had saved with these small cute shaped sticky-notes. On each of them I wrote a sweet note gotten from ideas in the Song Of Solomon. That is a love story and it is a wonderful idea to read it from-time-to-time to restore or build your marriage.
  5. Make your husband's favorite meal: Does your husband have a meal he really, really loves?? Mine loves Sausage Egg Casserole. It is simple and not-so-healthy in my book, but he just loves this inexpensive meal. He gets very happy when he smells it cooking. Food really speaks to a man's heart. The longer I have been married, the more I realize that it is important to cook the way my husband likes to eat. I wish that I had really understood this when I was younger. Sometimes it is more important to cook the way my husband WANTS to eat than to cook healthy. Hmmm!!
  6. Pick up after your husband WITHOUT complaining with words or with your heart:  My husband gets physically exhausted because he is a mechanic. He isn't a car mechanic. That's my son ;-) I am his help meet and I learned when I was first married how important it is to help by picking up after him. As we get a bit older, and my husband a bit more tired at the end of the day, this is all the more important. Picking up after my husband means putting his clothes into the laundry without resentment, or hanging his coat up, with a heart of a servant. If you do this with the right heart attitude, it will build into your marriage with incredible rewards.
  7. Buy him an inexpensive little gift: Think about your husband while you are grocery shopping and buy him a bar of his favorite candy (and slip a note into it) or some peanuts. Take Auntie Em's advice and package it up like a gift. Keeping the romance alive in your marriage is healthy whether you are married one month (like my son...WOW!!) or 33 years like us!!
  8. Um...Lets see...Making his lunch: Do you make your husband's lunch?? For years we were broke. Well, OK, we're still broke!! The lunch I made for my husband was sadly lacking in love!! Now, although I try not to pack a lunch full of calories, I try to pack it full of love. I try to find things that are interesting to eat (other than the proverbial peanut butter and jelly) that say, "I love you!!" It is a small thing that I have done that has spoken volumes to bring our marriage out of a slump a few years ago.
  9. Dress attractively for my husband: This doesn't sound to me like something you do for your husband, but it is. I've always heard about the girl who gets married and 'lets herself go.' It is as important to fix yourself up once you are married as it was before you were married.  So, take good care of yourself. Shower first thing in the morning, fix your hair, and dress to please your husband . My favorite store is Salvation Army, so I am not talking about shopping at a mall. 
  10. Bake cookies!! Baking speaks wonders to a man's heart. Have you ever heard that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach?? Or something like that?! 
What are some of the ways you encourage your husband?? Auntie Em started this (blame it all on her) and I continued the conversation...now it is your turn to either write a post or comment!!

I'd LOVE you to leave a comment!!
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~Judith~

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25 comments:

  1. yes, great ideas thank you! We are in the middle of a huge move and our only car broke down and needed to be sold. My husband now has to take the bus and is gone an hour longer each evening leaving us little time to pack and do necessary things before falling into bed and starting over. It's much harder on him than me. So God moved you to write this at exactly the time I need it. We aren't having a difficult time but I just feel like he needs/deserves to be babied a bit more right now. I really need to remember #6 especially!!

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  2. Moving is so hard!! We moved 5 years ago after staying 'put' for 20+ years. It is much harder the uh, um, older we get. In the process of moving, my husband had a car accident. These things just make it harder. You are doing the right thing. They need our encouragement much more than I have ever realized. I wrote this list partially for me :-) to remember and to share what Auntie Em started. I will pray for you Mrs. Arpino. Blessings!!

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  3. Thank you for these wonderful ideas :) I enjoyed each one of them! My husband also drives an hour to work. He unfortunately has to drive through a canyon that has several wrecks - your words reminded me to pray for him :)
    I like leaving love notes in his Bible, by the coffee pot and in his lunch box. I am amazed at how a little note can pick him up.
    My husband can become so busy with work and I am reminded as a wife, I need to pick up the extra load to make things easier for him.
    It truly is a joy to be the helpmeet that God desires us women to be. I really appreciate what you wrote and will try to put many of your ideas to action :)

    Blessings and hugs, my friend!
    Stephanie

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    1. What great ideas!! My husband went away in December for two weeks and came home and thanked me for a note he found in his socks. The funny thing was I didn't put it in his socks (on this trip) and the note was missed on the last trip. I have been known to keep notes after they are read and enjoyed and recycle them. They are enjoyed just as much the second time around. Thank you Stephanie for all your wonderful ideas!!

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  4. Oh wow... I almost didn't read this post. Thanks for a huge reminder!

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    1. Yes, aren't those posts we 'almost don't read' the biggest blessing?? Been there, done that!! Thanks Piper :-)

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  5. I always feel like you're peeking through my windows and blogging about me.

    "Pick up after your husband WITHOUT complaining with words or with your heart."

    The longer we've been married, the harder this is for me, because I am getting more tired. I also want my sons to learn to pick up after themselves, so I kinda struggle with this for various reasons......

    But, we are to serve and love with a pure heart, so I will work on this, K? Thanks for the loving reminders to do what is right.

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    1. I had to giggle reading how it gets harder the longer you are married to pick up after your husband. I am with you...but then I remember how little a thing it is to pick up his dirty laundry and make his lunch.

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  6. I so agree with number 5!! I have seen way too much putting down and whining about what husbands would like to eat lately. Disrespect in this area is just not worth it and I believe God will honor our obedience and respect.

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  7. AMEN! That is why I dont celebrate Valentines day,I mean you should let your spouce know EVEYDAY how much you love them... NOT just once a year

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  8. It is going to sound terrrrrible but I forget to pray for my husband. I get going on the kids and their little selves and... forget. I always feel terrible when I remember or am reminded. God has given me such a wonderful man, what a way to bless him by praying and I forget? ugh. THANK YOU for this blog.

    I read yesterday: "Before he leaves for work, give him a hug and kiss. MAKE EYE contact and tell him something special at the start of his work day. When he comes home, meet him at the door and be a step ahead of them to give him a kiss and again, MAKE EYE CONTACT."

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    1. Meeting your husband is so good to do. It is really hard through tough years but pays off in big dividends. I have forgotten to pray for my husband. Blogging is great because we are all encouraging each other along the way.

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  9. These are awesome! I loved every one of them. Especially the one about picking up after your hubby, lol! Whenever I start to get annoyed if I have to pick up after my husband, I try and remind myself of his faithfulness to go to work every day, and about all the good things that I love about him.

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  10. I love this list of ideas. It's so important to remember that it's often the little things that have the most impact and bring the greatest reward.

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  11. This is a great post, I just stumbled upon your blog, and I am glad I did. In the midst of all the busyness that is life, I don't always do these kinds of things for my husband anymore, and I need to. I look forward to following your blog.

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    1. I started doing these things even more through some tough years. Doing special things for your husband without looking for anything in return speaks to your relationship.

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  12. What a great, practical post! I have definitely got to get better at this as I have been blessed with a wonderful husband. He loves it when I talk good about him to my family and our friends. Maybe that's a tip on how to encourage him.

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    1. It is too easy to get too busy with the children and with me with homeschooling and neglect our husbands. They do so much for us that it really helps him and our relationship with him. If sometimes takes a long time to speak to his heart...it did with mine, and not of his fault at all.

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  13. Thanks for sharing this post at The Weekend Brew link up. And you are so right. We must encourage our husbands daily, several times a day. Blessings!

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    1. Thanks Barbie for stopping over from you sweet blog!!

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  14. Visiting from a link up -- just closed the page and forget the name!!! I love these suggestions especially making the bedroom a retreat for him.

    Lindsey @ GrowingKidsMinistry.com

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    1. Thank you so much!! I've closed the page and forgotten where I was...that's a mom for you!! Thanks for stopping over.

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If you have gone a little way ahead, O friend, call back --
Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track.

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