"I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord,
beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called,
With all lowliness and meekness, with
Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
These days it is amazing to hear that someone is married ten years, let alone twenty, or to hear that a couple celebrated thirty-three years is absolutely amazing!! I know a sweet couple, who have been married 68 years this July!! Or, like Herbert and Zelma Fisher who were married for 86 years!! Are you in this for the rest of your life?
I have been called to the vocation of housewife, homemaker, and homeschooling mom. I wear a bunch of 'hats' and I would imagine you do too!! The most important 'hat' I wear is that of wife to my dear husband. If your children are babies and toddlers, the days seem endless with diaper changes and nursing schedules, with housework, and perhaps homeschooling added to the care of your smallest children. What a blessing!! I can tell you, that the foremost relationship you have is with your husband; and it is so important to build into your marriage throughout the years.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could write about how 'longsuffering' and patient I had been with my husband through the years?! I like the word used in the King James Version so much better than the word 'patient.' I guess I could look up the meaning...but the word has such simplicity and says it all....'long' 'suffering'...and explains it so completely. More specifically, it means: patiently enduring lasting offense or hardship.
Most of us can honestly say that there is no hardship in our marriages other than what we caused ourselves. We might have been offended and need to forgive. I often think about whether some offense I am 'enduring' was actually brought on through some action of my own. Just saying!!
I don't think patience is something that we can make ourselves do like we can make ourselves wash the dishes in the sink, clean up the food all over the counter, and scrub and shine the sink when we are done. I can do all these things while feeling a tension inside. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit. God's Holy Spirit. Hmmm...somehow that tells me that having patience isn't something that I can conjure up myself too easily.
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is not law."
Having patience is an outpouring of the evidence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. It is evidence that I (or you) are spending time in His Word and prayer, daily. Daily!! It is evidence that we have a living relationship with God, that He knows us and that we know Him.
Impatience with your spouse is also known as that tension rising within yourself (in your heart) and not to be blamed on your cycle or change of life. Though hormones do play a role in our lives, these were given to us by God. These things are just circumstances that allow us to more clearly *see* our propensity to sin. Take primrose oil and flax seed oil tabs and keep working to renew you heart daily with Jesus. He will live through you as He transforms your life into His image.
Recently we watched the movie 'Fireproof' and I found myself encouraged to continue doing special things for my husband. I want to keep my relationship alive and renew its vitality. Patience is an intangible thing. It isn't a meal you cook, cookies you bake, or something special you bought 'just-for-him.' It is the most important 'thing' you can do because on it hangs your acceptance and honor of who your man is.
"Did anything happen today to cause anger toward your mate?
Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts
and to let them come out in words?
(The Love Dare, page 4)
"Although love is communicated in a number of ways,
our words often reflect the condition of our heart.
For the next day,
resolve to demonstrate patience and to say
to your spouse at all.
If the temptation arises,
choose not to say anything.
It's better to hold your tongue than to say
something you'll regret."
(The Love Dare, page 4)