I came into marriage with expectations of what it would be as did my husband. I had learned that communication was important to marriage, yet, it is easier said than done for some couples!!
Somehow, you can talk and your spouse understands you to be saying something totally opposite. If I had never had any problem communicating, I probably wouldn't be writing this post. It is through my failures in this area and efforts to improve that I share with you.
Being able to talk a lot with my girlfriends is sure different that talking with my husband!! First of all, I can drive him crazy if I talk at a rapid rate with disconnected sentences. Isn't it funny how a couple of moms can follow each other's incomplete sentences as they banter back and forth with each other?!
God created our husbands totally different than women (praise God!!) and men are wired differently. It is so important to understand our men more fully so that we can learn how to listen and communicate with them without overstepping the bounds of respect and honor in our relationship. I can too easily chatter too much about 'things' and realize later as I reflect on the conversation how I unintentionally hampered my husband's leadership. How about you; have you ever realized you had done this?
Why is it so important to improve on communication in marriage? Divorce rates even among Christians is extremely high. It is reported that one of the main reasons is due to poor communication. If you have ever had an argument with your husband, you know how easily communication breaks down and then how difficult it is to correct the problem.
- Talking on the part of the husband or wife.
- Listening on the part of the other.
- Honest, loving responses.
Since this is for you ladies and not your husbands, this week: practice the skill of listening when your husband talks. It is too easy to be selfish and do too much talking. As a woman, it is just simply too easy to talk too much. How on earth am I going to listen while talking?! This week, I am going to commit to doing much less talking and much more listening.
Good marital conversation involves the following aspects while the other listens sympathetically:
- Shared thoughts
I am going to listen this week, ask questions, and without judgment and comments that could be critical, shutting down my husband's communication instead of opening him up for the intimate conversation I so desperately desire. I just might find he listens more intently to me after he has learned he can more fully trust his heart to me. Will you join me in listening this week to my husband?? This just might work wonders with our children also.
I am a failure in this but the most amazing thing is, God has given me a new chance today!! Watch your step today: Listen intentionally!!
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