Monday, August 20, 2012

Love Honors

There are those couples who are a wonderful example of honor towards one another as they live a truly exemplary example before others. Maybe you know that you miss the mark and with that nagging feeling of guilt within your heart, you desire to overcome and master this struggle with victory through Jesus. You are not alone!!

My Mom & Dad: Married 69 Years!!

Ah, how I wish that honoring my husband had just been automatic. I wish that I had never gone through some of those aching growing pains and disastrous daily moments of bliss. I know there are some who are reading this who just cannot relate because their first love for their husband just has never dulled. Since you want to be able to help those who do struggle, and since many of you still slip up, read on!!

You might ask??

  • How can I honor my husband when he is constantly cutting me down?
  • Or, how can I honor my husband when he becomes irritated with the supper I burned?
  • How can I honor my husband when he just bought an expensive car? WITH payments!!
  • Or, how can I honor my husband when he pays NO attention to me because he is constantly watching TV? 
  • How can I honor my husband when he spends absolutely NO time with the children?
  • Or, how can I honor my husband when he forgot he bought the car (with expensive payments) AND he now bought a sleek Kayak?
  • How can I honor my husband when he wants to skip out on church on Sunday?
  • Or, how can I honor my husband when he is NOT saved?
If you find yourself in one or all of these types of scenarios, there IS hope for you!! It might take a day, or a month, or a year or two. If you are consistent in finding ways to show honor towards your husband, it will eventually pay off. Remember, a person often continues to respond to us as if we were still acting the same way towards them. It often takes time (and a lot of it) until a husband really trusts us again, and realizes that we have really changed.

  • Keep Your Mouth SHUT when you are criticized, knowing that a quiet answer turns away wrath, so a peaceful (non-antagonistic) quiet answer is soothing. Do you realize that you can convey bitterness even while your mouth is shut? Have you ever kept your mouth shut out of spite? "soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." Proverbs 15:1
  • Don't burn supper!!!! Take the time to create a calm and peaceful atmosphere by planning your week's menu (speaking of which) and doing the grocery shopping for those meals. This doesn't mean your home is quiet as you might have babies and toddlers (teenagers can be the noisiest...believe me!!) If everything is going well, meals are planned and supper is cooking (don't side-track to another room and wonder why supper burned!!), you would be surprised how peaceful your home becomes even when your baby is tremendously colicky. So, plan supper!!
  • You'd BETTER just keep your mouth shut on this one, stop belly-aching and start enjoying that car he spent a little  too much on!! It is too late now anyhow if he already bought the car. 
  • Your husband might move away from watching so much TV when you stop trying to 'run-the-show' and be so controlling and start accepting what you canNOT change him. Put on some perfume, take off that T-shirt and put  on something more attractive, FIX your HAIR, and make sure the table looks inviting for supper. One reason men watch too much TV is due to their wife's demanding, undesirable behavior (oh my!!)
  • Does your husband really spend little time with the children or are you lumping all your gripes and forgetting how tired he is after working looong hours so you and your little ones can enjoy staying home.
  • Your dh (dearest husband) bought a kayak?? If it is a two-seater, jump in and enjoy the ride!! Get over it!! Don't worry about the finances, allow God to work.
  • Either stay home from church with your husband (ouch), or go without him WITH permission FROM YOUR HUSBAND. This is very vital. You will loose your testimony nagging him about church. Instead be peaceable. HONOR him especially in this WITHOUT any balking!! This is VITAL!!
  • How can you honor your husband if he is not saved. If your husband is not saved, stop trying to get him to church. Forcing or strongly coercing  someone only serves to cause them to go further in the opposite direction. Honoring an unsaved husband is powerful!! I
One of the things I recommend is coming to the point that you truly realize that it is NOT totally your husband but YOU. It is NOT the point of my blog to point fingers at husbands but to share with you how powerful it has been in my marriage to often take a GOOD HARD look at mySELF. I am SELFish, though I'd rather NOT admit it. My marriage has changed gradually and dramatically as I have changed HOW I am doing things. It really doesn't change overnight.

My children often don't see the change because it is imperceptible. Now why are the dramatics slow and steady? Sometimes actually slipping backwards! It is because "I" am stubborn, prideful, slow to see it is ME, and it is just plain old hard to learn new tricks!! God is faithful, patient, merciful, and gracious, and He has been willing to work in my life as long as I keep in His word and in prayer, walking with him.
1 Peter 3:1-6

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; 
that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word 
be won by the conversation of the wives;
While they behold your chaste 
conversation coupled with fear.
Whose adorning let it not be that outward 
adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, 
or of putting on of apparel;
But let it be the hidden man of the heart, 
in that which is not corruptible, 
even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, 
which is in the sight of God of great price.
For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, 
who trusted in God, adorned themselves, 
being in subjection unto their own husbands:
Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: 
whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, 
and are not afraid with any amazement. 

Are you growing in honoring your husband?

In Christ Alone,

Disclaimer: The above examples are not necessarily my experiences. For instance, I am allergic to perfume.


  1. i have a hard time keeping my mouth shut sometimes! lol

  2. This is very good. And I love the picture of your parents.

  3. Hi Judith,
    The part in your post about going to church made me remember a woman in my first Bible study when I was a new believer. Her husband refused to go to church and always made Sunday mornings a hassle for her. So she decided to stay home on Sundays and enjoy her time with him. After a few months of her staying home, he began encouraging her to attend church again. This time she went with his blessings. We moved before I ever heard the end of her story, but I imagine he eventually started going with her. God works in mysterious ways between husbands and wives.
    Bless you, Gail


If you have gone a little way ahead, O friend, call back --
Twill cheer my heart and help my feet along the stony track.


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